phew

Sunday,December 23, 2007 at 9:26 pm (Barnard Year 2 Semester 1)

finally finished with that godforsaken semester of pain and agony. twenty four hours ago I was travelling home, twenty four before that still working on my last assignment. I am tired. After two good nights of sleep, I remain exhausted, a sign of accumulated sleep deprivation and energy expellation.

This place feels stranger than ever, house permeated with smells of construction as our kitchen gets re-done, and neighborhood permeated with the cheesiness that is suburban Maryland holidays. None of the grandiose romanticism which is Christmas in New York, but instead weak tree lights that flicker and horrible music that perpetuates fume-induced-headaches and blares over every radio and loudspeaker of every consumer establishment. Suburbia is at its worst in early winter, dry and dead, effortful joy which feels fake at every turn. The joys of home– friends, family, good food, comforts of home, are all diluted in some ways, though this doesn’t mean i’m complaining…

In fact, home. is in other ways truly great. Despite its strangeness, its wonderful to be at ease in all these places, to be quiet and left alone, to wake up in my own room, to have Leah down the street. It is such a priveledged life I live like this, I just need to remind myself to keep it temporary.

And that i’m doing! Monday I’ll board a plane to california, arriving in San Diego to my greater extended family, warm weather, and west coast tranquility that I know and love. I can’t wait.